


Stake on a Stick

by jldw



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Soulmates, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 07:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5082937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jldw/pseuds/jldw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is a vampire.  He needs a new blood source and goes to a werewolf gathering to find one.    He finds a stranger that makes his mouth water.  Now if he can only get the divine-creature that owns his heart to notice him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stake on a Stick

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank SkinToBone and my husband for beta help.
> 
> I do not own any of Marvel and take no profit from this story. But I do thank them for their wonderful characters and the actors that made them come to life.
> 
> ****************

Anthony Stark was a vampire. He had been around for centuries, creating new identities every so often. Vampires were very rare these days; most considered them extinct. For centuries the church hunters had orders to kill on sight and received huge bounties. A few very insane vampires had killed indiscriminately and nearly caused their extinction.

Biting didn’t cause people to become vampires; it caused thralls who could live for two hundred years normally. With no need for blood, a thrall would instead produce extra blood that curbed the master’s appetite. They usually sincerely cared for their masters, who were often upstanding members of society. It was the thralls that inadvertently led the hunters to the masters but also convinced the church to cease offering bounties, because most vampires did not kill and were a benefit to society. Unfortunately by then most of Anthony’s immortal race was dead. They reproduced very slowly with each other. There were stories of great loves and soul mates among their kind, but it was something he would never experience. His was one of the last few births. His parents were dead now, killed by hunters. There were probably a few more of his race, but if so they were hidden, so for all he knew he was the last of his kind.

Tony had been taught to be very careful. He had learned places to get blood. Mental institutions, hospitals, war zones. Animal blood made one stupid, animalistic, and eventually led to accidentally killing humans. Bagged blood from blood banks actually worked as a supplement but left him weak. He still needed real fresh blood once or twice a month to keep from getting sick, especially on full moons. It was even worse on those moons near the summer and winter solstice. Blood from supernatural creatures worked well at those times because they could survive losing more blood. He feared killing a human near solstices. But supernaturals were more difficult to mesmerize into thinking he was not a vampire and were generally more dangerous.

Being a genius, he had developed a super sunscreen that helped him during the daylight. He’d never burst into flame as legend claimed, but the sun would leave him with third degree burns in minutes and an afternoon at the beach would kill him. Now he could be outside for half hour with only a first degree sunburn. Inside a diner with windows as long as he was in the shade, he could go a couple hours. His car windows were special and didn’t allow any of the dangerous rays through.

He’d had a couple wood nymphs that he’d used for ages a few times a year. Making simple minds forget the bite was a vampire gift. They always thought they just got sex and presents, but they were currently in relationships and wouldn’t help him anymore.

He’d found out about a regional werewolf gathering and figured he might find one or two that might be willing to offer blood for cash. It would be risky, but there were a couple other races that needed blood that he could claim to be. He called to make reservations for a suite at the Howling Mountain Inn near Waterville. The only room left was the most expensive penthouse suite, but that suited him just fine.

Tony got there a day early and started scoping out the area. There were several hotels that would be ski lodges later in the season but for the next week the lifts would be closed even if there was snow. Near Waterville was a makeshift RV park with a few RV’s already there. In the next few days this town would be packed. He had quickly added extra coverings in the bedroom of the hotel room so he could easily rest there. Maids didn’t usually bother moving them, or asking questions if he left good tips.

That evening he headed down to the bar for a drink to see if anyone else was there early. He’d spent a few hours talking to several locals and a couple of werewolves who didn’t seem to be what he was looking for. He had to be discreet and careful. At present, the church wasn’t hunting vampires for the sake of killing, but rather to use for testing purposes. The church had offered incentives, but had no takers.

Suddenly in walked a man. God, what a man it was too. Tall, slim, high cheek bones, blue-black hair, dressed to kill in a dark suit with a green print scarf and a cane. When he looked Tony’s way, green eyes that almost glowed surveyed the room. Mr. Sex-On-Long-Legs went to the bar and Tony watched as long elegant fingers touched the counter as he sat down and ordered a drink. He had style and class and Tony felt like he had won the jackpot. He approached Casanova and sat down next to him.

“Hi there handsome. Buy you a drink?” Tony asked.

The debonair knight looked at Tony, looked thoughtful for a moment, then clearly had a spark of recognition. “You are a bit out of your element here, Mr. Stark.”

“Got it in one, smart boy.” Tony smiled his best, fake smile. He needed to get a feel for this dark creature of the night, because he had needs. He would bet this Professor-of-the-Obvious, would be black furred as a werewolf.

“Well, having one’s picture in the World Report’s most influential who’s who will do that.”

Who’s who? Tony thought. Mr. Perfect could have said New York’s top ten bachelors, Forbes Richest Men in the World, or any tabloid that talked about the wild and crazy life of the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. But he’d barely heard of that magazine, let alone its list before. Did that mean the wonder boy was a scholar? With his looks and great style? Ok, that was prejudiced. He’d beat himself up about it later. Better yet maybe he’d get super stud to beat him. “Yes, but I thought I’d come up for the festivities.”  
,  
Love muffin looked at him. Those eyes seemed to glow, his nose scrunched a bit. “Really? I wouldn’t think you would be interested.”

Oh, Mr. McDreamy must have smelled him and known he wasn’t a werewolf. He needed to be careful. “Got a friend who needed a ride. Anyway let’s not talk about that. You have the greenest eyes I think I’ve ever seen. I bet you get that all the time.” Tony had met werewolves before and sometimes they had green eyes but not like this love puppy.

“Actually very few people ever mention them, let alone notice them. You are rather special.” The hungry-emerald-eyed-kitten looked Tony up and down with a smirk.

“You have no idea. I can be very good too. Like what you see?” Tony had it bad. Smell was not a vampire’s forte but he kept getting whiffs of this pinup-paradise-of-a-guy that smelled great. Werewolves usually didn’t smell this good. If pookie turned out to be a human, and snookems blood was as good as he smelled, Tony might be tempted to break his no thrall rule.

“Perhaps. I do have other things to attend to.” The golden-lipped-dumpling finished his drink and stood up.

“Hey! I didn’t get your name Prince Charming?” Tony asked quickly.

His sexy-sunshine leaned down and purred into Tony’s ear as Tony inhaled the intoxicating scent. “I didn’t drop it.” Eye-Candy then walked out of the bar not looking back.

Tony stared back at the entrance for a good sixty seconds enraptured by the smell, the walk, the look, the fact his Tinkerbell exuded sex out of every pore, the whole picture. Then it hit him what his black-haired-dreamboat had said. Damn, he would find out who his chocolate-chip-cookie-and-Godiva-flavored-milk was.

That night Tony got some bagged blood out of his refrigerator/suitcase, warmed it up got naked and got off to the most Handsome-Halloween-Prize ever. Better yet the ebony haired, green eyed, god-I’ve-got-to-have-him, walking-aphrodisiac, of a princess, destined to soon to be his. .

Tony woke up midafternoon the next day. After a shower and trimming his beard it was getting dark. It got dark early here, around four pm. He checked his phone and so far Jarvis had not figured out who his sun-burning-knockout was. Then again he had failed to get a picture, and even computers needed something to work with. So covered with a heavy coat and sunscreen Tony set out to find the gathering areas. It didn’t take long as many of the people who had checked in were on their way there.

Tony kept his head covered, he didn’t want to be recognized. Not only was he a known personality but werewolves didn’t always appreciate strangers. He didn’t smell like a were, but there were several humans and other sups that were married and came along for the non-run fun. He was sure he could blend in as long as he didn’t stay in one place to long. He was hoping to find Mr. Green Eyed Goddess quickly.

Tony had just left the bathroom after applying his second coat of sunscreen to his face when he saw Mr. This-Man-Can’t-Be-Real. His lovely booboo-baby-squirrel was standing next to none other than the Eastern United States Pack leader. He had good hearing but there was too much distance and noise between them. He had to get closer.

He proceeded to do just that, moving closer. Then he found himself stopped when he realized that his shining-raven-prey was not behaving like he should be. That was indeed the Eastern US Pack leader along with a couple regional ones. Puddles should be showing submissive movements. Instead the pack leaders were being submissive. Oh, it was a subtle submissiveness, something only someone who had been around a very long time would notice. Who was this Blue-Blood-Shining-Titan-of-Gaia?

All of a sudden a young man bounded up next to his future lover. This clearly too-young-adult got a loving embrace and did not show anything submissive to Tony’s dream-weaving-sex-god but was very submissive to the other leaders. He had got close enough to hear a bit. Uncle Snuggly-Poo was introducing whoever it was. And it or the kid rather, was clearly in the way of Tony getting his emerald-dove.

“This is Fenrir, whom I was telling you about. I appreciate you welcoming us both tonight.” Tony heard him say. Then some kids plowed into him, trying to catch a ball. He looked up to see people trying to help him up, and the kid who was at least apologizing for running into him. He looked at the leader group and saw the blazing-green-temple-eyes meet his. Killer-mudpuppy had noticed him. Tony was not invited to this event and didn’t want to have to deal with werewolf politics so he made himself scarce and headed away from the area.

His heartburn-angel had a lover. A young lover. The queen-of-apple-pie was obviously more important than Tony had first thought. The number of beings that pack leaders were submissive to on their own turf was very small. He kept track of many of the major pack leaders of the werewolves, and many of the other shifter leaders, and Aphrodite’s’-Love-Child was not one of those. Maybe best-cheek-bones-ever was a sphinx? There were a few other individuals, Fae royalty, the occasional god representative, maybe a dragon or demon royalty. Perhaps he should just give up. If Snow White had a lover already he would never be Tony’s. Yet Tony’s heart screamed like a small child at the idea of giving up his Scooby-Doo-sugar-daddy.

Tony spent most of the evening looking for werewolves to approach, but his heavy heart wasn’t into it. He was sure he came off as an investigator to a few, not what he wanted. He soon found a bar and started drinking. Maybe too much drinking, enough that he decided he was going to find out who his Handsome-Beast-of-the-Baskerville-Moor was at least.

There were hundreds of werewolves at the event, it was past midnight and his night vision was better than most even with the fires that were lit. Tomorrow night there would be wolves running. He needed to find out tonight.

Two hours later he was starting to sober up when he came across Fenrir again. Except he was not with his angel-of-forbidden-delights. No, he was curled up playing kissy face with another female werewolf. Ok, change of directions. There was clear evidence of relationship earlier between this pup and his lip-gloss-ready-sweetheart, now the pup was with another. He pulled his phone out and took a picture. The darkness would not bother his phone. He didn’t notice the green-eyes-of-Sauron watching him as he sent the picture to Jarvis. He headed on still looking for the beholder-with-verdant-eyes that had already found him.

Another hour passed, still no luck with his red-velvet-cupcake. He was a man with a mission. Obsessed? Definitely. He was beginning to wonder if feathered-wings-of-fun had a spell cast on him. Where was his Kentucky-Derby-beauty? He thought about checking out the various bars around town, then remembered they were closed by now. He found a dark place and sat down on a log to think, he had done a very systematic search of the area, twice in fact.

“What are you here for?” Tony heard a whisper in his ear.  
Turning quickly he found himself looking up at that snow-caped-honey-mountain which had eluded him all evening. “You!” He exclaimed.  
“Yes, me. Now answer the question. Before I do something you will regret.” The grin on the dangerous-designer-devil’s face was pure evil.

“That is the answer, sweetheart. And I want you to do all sorts of things to me that I might regret. But probably won’t.” Tony leered back. Oh, his Cerberus-of-a-teddy-bear had to be a demon prince with that smile. He was so going to die.

Sexy-bondage-knots tilted his head a bit and stopped smiling. “You have been here for hours. You have taken but one photograph. I want to know why.”

“I wanted one of you, sexy. But I saw your boy toy cheating on you and thought I’d take a pic to show you. Plus, maybe it’d help me figure out who you are, dreamboat.” Tony said, suddenly realizing the flaw of his statement. “You know he’s cheating because you were following me… I could live with an open relationship if you want. I’m sure I’m a hundred times better in bed than him.”

His witchy-flying-sex-monkey looked amused now. “Boy toy? Really? And you are offering to share me? Are you that desperate?” Then suddenly his obsidian-colored-raging-bull snorted. “Or are you an accursed hunter? Playing at being stupid.”

“Woah, no way, not a hunter. Never a hunter. Desperate maybe. I think you did something to me, darling. I can’t stop thinking about you. Maybe we could go back to my room and I could prove my sincerity?” He was playing with fire. If this was one of the demon princes this would be the end of his life. But really werewolves hated demons. He was probably okay. Besides freezer-burn-of-hot-love was his.

“You came to this town for a reason. I demand to know it. Do not think you can avoid answering me with a false come on.” His big-screen-box-office-hit’s eyes were glowing again.

“Sex.” And blood he thought. “I came here to hook up. By myself since you probably already guessed Hot-Pants. Really. Then I saw you and it was lust at first sight. I guess I’ve been stalking you ever since.” Tony admitted.

“You are not a werewolf. That makes your story hard to believe.” Did Tony see a bit of doubt in the cathedral-of-sex that he wanted to lick ice cream off of? Hope sprang alive.

“No, I’m not a werewolf. But I can show you how hard I am right now, if it’ll make you believe. Look if you’ll go for that young pup who cheats on you, surely you can give me a chance.” Tony took a step forward.

Laughter filled Tony’s ears from his breathtaking-vista-of-a-future-lover. “He is not my lover. What a ridiculous thought. Besides I do not share…ever… Are you actually jealous of me? Someone you don’t even know the name of, have talked to for only a few minutes. I have cast no spell. Does great Tony Stark fall in love so easily? Do you do this often? Are you an incubus living off sex and life force? Or just a male whore who can’t get enough thrills in his life.”

Love so easily? What was that? Jealous? Him never. Incubus? Male whore? Now that was a serious insult. “What? No, I don’t. You know I really don’t know why I’m here right now. Maybe I made a bad decision.” He turned around to leave and felt tears in his eyes. He really didn’t want to leave Mr. Yummy-in-his-Tummy. Who was he kidding? “I’m not an incubus. And I don’t fall… ever… This is the first time.” He mumbled getting softer as he had gone on. Still with his back to the voice-that-could-control-thousands. “But maybe I was jealous. I don’t understand this. I’d… give up my whoring ways for you though…”

“Then what are you? Not a human, nor are you a common creature.” His gorgeous bunnykins said.

“I’ll show you if you show me?” Tony turned around and smiled. “My offer, the one to visit my room is still there. We could discuss a more permanent arrangement. Explore each other? Do you like to bite?” Tony’s brain slapped him in the head. What did he just ask? He was really in trouble now.

His sweet-peaches-in-heavy-syrup-and-cream breathed a sigh. “I’m beginning to wonder if someone else cast a spell on you.” Then his sweet-saber-toothed-tiger bent down and kissed him on the lips.

Tony reached up and grabbed a hold of his satanic-buggy-boo and deepened the kiss. His mouth opened and they began exploring. Crispy-bacon-dumpling’s tongue hit one of his sharp teeth that had somehow managed to extend down just a bit and he tasted blood. An explosion of the most fabulous, luscious, deliciously satisfying flavor burst forth in his mouth. Suddenly his pussycat-from-heaven broke the kiss.

“Why grandmother, what sharp teeth you have.” Smooth-and-creamy-with-a-side-of-fresh-jam, said with a smile. “I need to go now. I’m sure we’ll run into each other again.” And his lord-and-master-of-libido started walking away.

“Wait, I still don’t know who you are or how to find you?” Tony started running after his graceful Bohemian-Rhapsody-wild-stallion.

“Why Mr. Stark, I believe you have enough to figure it out now. Oh and I like to bite.” Lava-flowing-on-fresh-snow that caused Tony to melt, said smiling.

Tony watched his steam-punk-powered-superman become outlined in green and disappear. Magic and powerful magic at that. His forever-lover-Maleficent was more that he had guessed. He ran back to his hotel, talking to Jarvis the whole way, feeding him everything he knew. Once in his room he brought up his tablet and went to work with a face description program. He was going to find out who his chocolate-covered-eclair was.

Once he had the picture, the powers and the name Fenrir safely entrusted to Jarvis to search on, Tony went to sleep.

When he awoke the first thing he did was check to see what Jarvis had found. And Jarvis did indeed deliver. His future-husband was none other than the Norse God, Loki. Asgard had sent his truffle-covered-rib-steak to earth about a year ago to ‘watch’ over Midgard. The Norse Gods held a great deal of power. Even the church was afraid of them. They were not only powerful, but besides the gods there was a whole race of Aesir. In fact many believed that all the gods were somehow related to or created by the Aesir. Asgard had, until recently, only kept an Aesir as a representative on earth, as did the lesser pantheons. His God Loki, his lustful-vision-of-hope, had brought his werewolf son, Fenrir. His God-of-Mischief-of-the-Night  told the press he was single.

No wonder the pack leaders were submissive. Loki was not only a feast-for-the-eyes god, but a raindrops-on-roses prince too. Of course Tony had been jealous of Loki’s son. Smart, very smart. Now he just had to figure out how to make the magical-diamond-of-Asgard fall for him.

First things first. He broke into the hotel computer database and found out what room his adorable-crème-colored-pearl Loki… and son Fenrir… were in. At least it was a two room suite. He went downstairs, bought some stuff, and went to the suite and knocked.

Fenrir opened the door and saw someone holding flowers, candy, and several boxes. “May I help you?” he asked.

“Looking for the most handsome being in the universe. He sometimes poses as your dad.” Tony’s voice came from behind the huge bouquet of flowers.

“Father…we… err you seem to have a… Oh Hel, father I think someone’s here, who’s out of their mind. What have you done now?!” Fenrir yelled.

Loki’s head, that deserved to be carved in marble and displayed in every intersection in the world, popped up into view. “Why Mr. Stark, how lovely to see you again. You seem to have passed the test. Please do come in.”

“Tony. Please call me Tony.” Tony entered and handed his sweet-smelling-tower-of-terror Loki, the flowers, expensive candy, and boxes. A box that contained sexy underwear was opened first. The next one held a new Stark phone, then a tablet. A bottle of fancy wine, fancy scotch, and glasses were in another box. There were also couple of envelopes that Tony just sat on the table and didn’t give to Loki, his life-giving-avatar-of-ideas, immediately.

“Are you trying to buy the affections of a God, Anthony Stark?” Fuzzy-leopard-Loki who would nestle next to him soon smirked.

“If it will work? You know I wanted you before I knew who you were. I’m not below anything. If it will work. ” Tony tried to be honest.

Loki, the Jewel-of-the-Nile, smiled at him a real smile. Tony felt his heart beating so fast he feared Loki would think there were war drums playing his favorite AC/DC song. “Do you not question why you seem to want me, little one?”

“To be honest, I can’t seem to clear my head enough of you to get very far. You are the one that I want, though, and after last night, I’m sure of it even if I don’t know you, babe.” Tony admitted.

“What happened last night that made you so sure?” His golden-moonbeam-with-horns asked him.

“I tasted your blood.” Tony whispered softly.

Fenrir was heard gasping from his room. Then the door slammed. ‘ _Bloody dogs enhanced senses_ ’, Tony thought. Suddenly he feared what his bloody-dream-of-heaven might think. His heart was clearly chanting blood, blood, blood. He was gonna drowned in it, and just hoped his blood-pumping-peacock-colored-mermaid would rescue him.

His lovingly-seared-scallops-and-lobster shook his head smirking and leaning forward. “And why is it that was important?”

Tony felt fear and lust. His teeth extended. He wasn’t sure if it was defensive or sexual. Would Stake-on-a-Stick skewer him? Terrible-treasure go and tease him? Lonely-lambkins leave him to live out his long existence by himself? “I’m a vampire.” He tried to breathe out around his teeth staring at the table before him.

“Very good, darling, I’m so glad you admitted it.” Loki the magnificent-steed-that-ran-like-the-wind, leaned back and smiled a real smile again.

Tony was confused now. The prince-of-private-reserves knew he was a vampire? “You knew? How? When?”

“Frigga might have said something about a vampire before I came to Midgard.” His amazing luminescent-soap-bubbles said.

“You played me this whole time?” Tony was shocked.

His blushing-bride batted his eyes. “I didn’t know who the vampire would be. Just that he … would be important.”

Tony finally managed to get his teeth hidden again. “Important how?”

“First, I want to see what you have in your envelopes, my persistent blood sucker.” The nine-tailed-fox who now owned Tony’s life said.

Tony blushed now. He had indeed been crazed with love. He was really embarrassed now. “I really would rather we just forget about them and go on with the sex and biting part.” He winced.

“There will be none of that until I’ve had my fun. Surely, if you know who I am, you know I am the God of Mischief.” Said the King-of-Catnip looking to gobble up a tasty inventor.

Tony nodded but before he could pick up the letters, twinkle-toes-the-ballet-trained-acrobat grabbed the envelopes. “Hey, I was only ever going to give you one, not both! Give them back.” Tony protested.

The first one was already open. The pride-of-all-fan-fiction looked at Tony sadly. “It says ‘ _Please kill me, use a stake through my heart, I cannot live without you. Perhaps you will reconsider. I’m not good at talking about love._ ’ I take it this was if I rejected you? You were more affected than I expected. Was I supposed to use this?" There was a very small sharp stick, more of a large toothpick stuck in with the letter that his Adonis-of-all-Things-Chocolate held up. 

“Maybe... You said affected? So there is a spell? What was done to me? Did you lie about not casting a spell on me?” Tony was fretting now. He felt hurt, and used but still could not find it in himself to not want his smoking-hot-crisp-kringle-of-a-dragon-mama.

“No, the fates got creative ages ago and deemed I have a soul mate. Asgard finally demanded that I find the person, hoping they might settle me.” His forever-body-pillow-of-comfort told him. “I agreed, since I’ve never really been in love and decided it was time. You are a handsome devil. I hope you can keep up with me.”

“I can keep up with you and more till you are exhausted and begging.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows and watched as his black-hole-that-sucked-him-into-infinity-and-beyond open the second envelope.

“You are a bold one Anthony. I think I’m going to like you very much.” His tunnel of love set the letter on the table and walked into the bedroom followed closely by Tony. Loki’s soul mate.

Oh the table the letter read:  
‘Marry me. I love you.  
I’ll make, buy, steal or invent any type of ring you want.  
I want you become Loki Stark. I’m sure Odin will understand.  
Hey do I get to be a God too then? Just asking.’

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading if you like it feel free to press the Kudo's tag. Maybe leave a comment. I appreciate all of you.
> 
> If you notice an error feel free to let me know. Thanks.


End file.
